Cancioni-Inutilia

I'm not 100% certain that all the information in this article is accurate, especially in regards to dates. Please let me know if any of the content here directly contradicts someone else's lore, but only if said lore was written before this (last edit 28/6). Cancioni-Inutilia is/will be a second-world nation in the CCRPIV universe, situated in the Mediterranean.

It was founded when Republica des Canciones Molestas conquered Inutilia in the 15th century Silver Wars, and they merged to form a single nation. It is part of an alternate universe in which the Silver Wars were conclusively ended much earlier than they were in CCRPII universe. [I'm hoping this fits with whatever lore the admins had in mind.]

Canciona and Inutilia, the original countries, have been reduced to states.

The nation is controlled by player @Tolkienfan.

Map
Marine territory controlled: the Langoster Estella Sea, a sub-territory of the Merion Sea.

Government
For 'basic RP rules' purposes, Cancioni-Inutilia is a Dictatorship. Currently it is a Military Dictatorship, and when I next have a good reason to swap out one or both dictators it will become benevolent for five years. I'm currently waiting for guidance about how the 'different types of dictatorship' models are going to work in this system.

Federal
Cancioni-Inutilia has two dictators of equal power at any one time. They are supposed to represent the two states, Canciona and Inutilia. Within their own sphere of influence they can pass any laws they wish, but in theory have to agree on any decisions on a national level. In practice, Canciona still wields more power and its dictator will generally win out over the Inutilian one. There is no formal arrangement for succession; if a dictator dies, anyone with the money and influence can try to take up the position.

State
The State of Canciona Molestas has never departed from its original dictatorial model. Gone, however, are the days when more often than not the dictator would be benevolent. The Powers that Be are very set in their ways, and refuse to change to the more progressive model of government used by the State of Inutilia. The state's dictator has absolute power and is unlikely to lose it anytime soon.

Unlike the State of Canciona Molestas, the State of Inutilia pretends to have a more democratic government. Each province contributes one disputat, voted in by the general population, who together form the Council of Disagreement. In theory they have the power to veto anything Inutilia's dictator decrees. However, a second and much larger group of automata inutilem are present at every Council meeting. The automata inutilem have the power to veto the Council's veto (or not, as they see fit). They masquerade as a power check, but it is the Dictator who chooses the representatives (and what their salary will be), so the overall outcome is the same power balance as that present in the State of Canciona Molestas. If anyone is wondering, I was somewhat thinking of the Spartan government when I wrote this.

Provincial
In Canciona Molestas, there is no formal government at provincial level. As in the state-wide system, the state's dictator controls everything.

In Inutilia, the province's respective disputatii hold all the true power at this level. This is the main reason why they've stuck around despite being pretty useless at state level. They function as localised dictators.

Local
Formal government at this level breaks down completely everywhere. The population is willing to accept that there are (undoubtedly corrupt) people running everything on a federal level, but like most people have at least some difficulty in seriously accepting that such high levels of government even exist. On a local level, however, they are not having any of that King and Tyrant nonsense. In cities the police or other law enforcement bodies tend to hold power. In small towns, either community governance or family-based tyranny take over.

Foreign Relations
Cancioni-Inutilia is a member of a defensive pact with Merion Consortium and the Balkan Republic.

Relations table to be edited after a year (1 week's worth of roleplaying) when I actually have an idea of what the other countries are like and how friendly they're likely to be. I can't remember who came up with the table. If you do, please let me know so I can give them credit.

State, Province and City Breakdown
A complete list of the states, provinces and major cities on Cancioni-Inutilia, with population statistics, because someone was asking me about that.

Note on populations: I'm counting everyone who lives in one of the towns or cities shown on the map as part of the urban population, but some of these towns are extremely small because I shunted half my national population into Minas Trone and Salsuginis. A lot more of the population would live in rural conditions than these statistics suggest (and they suggest that over 90% of the population is urban, which is slightly ridiculous until you see the size of some of the cities), but I can't be bothered doing the research to rectify this.

State of Canciona Molestas
Dictatorial representative: Lucia Toronja

Population: 3,850,000

Rural population: 380,000

Capital: Minas Trone

Largest city: Minas Trone

Number of provinces: 4

Cantalopu con Azucar
Population: 700,000

Rural population: 120,000

Estoy Mas Arribe Que Nadie

Population: 280,000

Esquina Estupida

Population: 130,000

Rana Crujiente

Population: 70,000

Cangrejo

Population: 100,000

Nonostros Odiamos las Montanas
Population: 150,000

Rural population: 100,000

Nonostros Odiamos las Montanas as a province serves the dual purpose of a religious hub and a tourist attraction.

Santa Langoster

Population: 30,000

Winter tends to bring hordes of snow sport enthusiasts to Santa Langoster, and in autumn the Easter celebrations coupled with the Festival of the Great Star Lobster tend to be at their height and attract pilgrims from all over the nation. In the space of one week the population has been known to explode to over a million. A major feature of the city is whole streets of hotels, which are empty for most of the year.

Esparragos

Population: 20,000

Etiqueta de Pan
Population: 2,800,000

Rural population: 60,000

The single Cancioni-Inutilian province with the highest population, and the greatest national impact.

Plumero de Nudillos

Population: 15,000

Puerto Langoster Estella

Population: 700,000

The country's international port. Handles almost all imports, exports, migrants, and other non-military business, as Minas Trone's even larger port is entirely reserved for the navy.

Conejo Asesino

Population: 70,000

Seaside town with an economy that largely depends on tourism.

Minas Trone

Population: 1,900,000

The federal and state capital, with the second-highest population of the country. Boasts the prestigious Trone University, and is the military hub of the nation. Nine-tenths of the eligible male population are enlisted.

Isla de la Danza del Cangrejo
Population: 200,000

Rural population: 100,000

The food capital of the country, especially in regards to seafood.

Puerto Rinoceronte

Population: 85,000

Has vast fleet of fishing boats, which it sends on daily missions to the more piscine-rich parts of Langoster Estella Sea.

Campas de Fresca Por Siempre

Population: 15,000

State of Inutilia
Dictatorial representative: Horatio Sake

Population: 2,150,000

Rural population: 18,500

Capital: Dimidium Apis

Largest city: Salsuginis

Number of provinces: 5

Mountain-Ridden Province
Population: 10,000

Rural population: 1,000

A sparsely populated province that was originally settled for mining purposes. Has copped a fair beating in past Silver Wars before RCM and Inutilia were forcibly merged. Cartographer's note: Originally this province had one single mountain rather than a whole range. But I like mountains, so I added some. They are all absolutely tiny, and barely qualify as mountains, but I am going to have them. Note that they come with absolutely no resource package deals, so apart from satisfaction over having a mountain range I gain no advantage by having them. Argenti

Population: 4,000

Congelatonis

Population: 5,000

A mining town. As with Argenti it was founded as part of the nation's quest for silver, abandoned when it was discovered there wasn't any, and re-settled when other more useful metals were discovered there.

Province with Noooooo Sandwiches
Population: 14,500

Rural population: 1,500

Teppicopolis

Population: 6,500

Ptracopolis

Population: 6,000

Boring Empty Province
Population: 10,000

Rural population: 0

Apart from Ego Vitulisque Marinis, there are no settlements in Boring Empty Province. It was well named. The province does contain a city that is the financial capital and has nearly five thousand office workers, with more jobs of the same nature being created every day. That is absolutely it. The province was well named.

Ego Vitulisque Marinis

Population: 10,000

Southern Province
Population: 2,110,000

Rural population: 14,000

The second-largest Canci-Inutilian province population-wise (after Etiqueta de Pan), and home to the largest city. Has exceedingly scenic coast, making it a popular tourist attraction and earning it the province most often depicted on postcards.

As well as having an attractive coast, Southern Province also boasts the Nice Little River. Its spring source makes its water much purer than that of Aburrido Rio Viejo, and it is better maintained. (The notable exception being the section of Nice Little Delta that Limosus Palus is built on.)

Sapidum Feles

Population: 5,000

A tiny place only recognised as a city because culturally it would be impossible to see it as a town. The fact that twenty or so streets of densely packed housing, a few parks and five streets of shops and office blocks are the limits of the town are ignored by residents who insist on being recognised as city dwellers, mainly because such a reputation might just make up for the scandalous rates the government has not yet had time or inclination to look into.

Limosus Palus

Population: 44,000

Salsuginis

Population: 2,005,000

Easily the largest city, having a two-million-strong population. In fact, it is the current largest city in the world.

Dimidium Apis

Population: 42,000

The capital city. Not because of its population, which is wimpy, but because it was where the first Inutilian dictator grew up and he liked the scenery. He expressed his liking for the city by declaring it the state's capital.

Non Plasset Essa Iuxta Mare
Population: 8,000

Rural population: 2,000

Non Plasset Essa Iuxta Mare has a mere token population. Ninety per cent of the adult population work in the fishing industry. It is the only province in which provincial government is almost useless, and local government has taken over. (See 'government'.) Said local government is in the form of the extended D'Oevre family, which constitutes about a third of the population, and is ruled with an iron fist by Granny Susan, a tyrannical matriarch who lives in New Ptracopolis and dominates more effectively than either of the federal dictators.

Although a decent number of tourists visit the island every year, most of the locals find it quite bleak and depressing. Despite its low-latitude location the weather is almost always overcast and chilly. Its main reason for existing was swiping a prime fishing outpost before neighbouring countries could get to it, but those who live there maintain that it wasn't worth it.

Has the highest percentage of residents living below the poverty line, because a) the minute population means that a high percentage is easier to obtain than anywhere else, and b) most of the people still living there do so because they couldn't afford to move to a different province.

Ergo Sum Ovum Homme

Population: 2,000

A small dockside town. Exists primarily to facilitate travel between the province and the mainland. Has half-hearted industry in the form of a fish-n-chip shop and a third-rate inn.

New Ptracopolis

Population: 4,000

An old colony town. Considered a roaring business hub because it has more than one pub. The fishing capital of Inutilia, although it must be stressed that the bar is incredibly low.

Resources
40k tonnes building materials per year, 50k tonnes metals per year, and 60k tonnes food per year. More details to be shortly released on the project.

History
Main article: History of Cancioni-Inutilia

This section uses the standard calendar. It was going to be the southern one but I'm not sure if that even exists anymore. 'BC' refers to 'Before Catman2197', as said admin is the head of the iteration and thus the person most eligible for being associated with Year 0, the RP's starting date (1 July 2022 IRL).

Foundation
Cancioni-Inutilia was formed in 499 BC in the Reiteration of the Twenty-Fourth Silver War. The war had been started in the reign of Juliet II, monarch of Inutilia whose notoriety for warmongering was matched only by her reputation as the worst military leader the world had seen. The war was in fact a rematch of the Twenty-Fourth Silver War, as Juliet had been discontented with the results, i.e. her complete and utter defeat. Never one to be a good sport, she went against all military precedence by suing for a rematch. Republica des Canciones Molestas correctly discerned that simply fighting the war again would be quicker and cheaper than going through lawsuits.

This move worked in their favour. After three days of battle the Inutilian troops rapidly retreated with no warning, and in the resulting set of 'strategic' retreats RCM managed to seize more and more Inutilian land. By the end of the week the entire country was under Cancionan control except Salsuginis and a few square kilometres of swampy delta surrounding it. On 25 May 499 BC, Juliet (very reluctantly) signed an agreement that Inutilia would become part of RCM, be subject to its laws, obey its dictator (Francis Mallard), and - best of all - pay lots of taxes. The nation was renamed Cancioni-Inutilia.

Equal Rights act of 303 BC
In 303 BC the Inutilian populace decided that enough was enough, and they wanted the same rights as Cancionan citizens. Previously they had been subjected to higher taxes, inability to fully own land, obligations to pay tithes of their agricultural produce to the Cancionan state, and generally treated like second-class citizens. The dictator at the time, Lucas Pez, refused the representative body's demands because the Inutilian state was an excellent source of income and in another six months he'd have enough money to send his kids on a Grand Tour of the continent. The Inutilian state responded by launching a rebellion. Their first move was to flock into Minas Trone and blockade the military part of the city, before they surrounded the palace. Pez knew when to fold, and gave the Inutilian state the same rights as the Cancionan one.

Government Overhaul of 302 BC
A year the leader of the Inutilian rebellion, Simon Dicit, realised that the reason why the Inutilian state still didn't seem very represented was that they had no representative in politics. The sole power in the country was primarily focused on the Cancionan state. Dicit proposed a new system in which both states would contribute a dictator, and both would be equally powerful. After several hours' heated debate, from which the public was barred and the journalists present refused to report on word-for-word, the Inutilians got their way. Dicit declared himself dictator, and his first move was to establish the disputatii and automatum inutiliem. The system still continues today, and a further discussion can be found in the Government section.

Culture
Despite having been merged into one nation, the two states still hold to their old cultures. They remain distinct despite various examples of blurring customs.

Religion
The country has been introduced to Christianity. Although it spread like wildfire through the state of Inutilia, and the majority of its population have converted to it, the Cancionan state has been reluctant to be introduced to a new religion and still practice Coming of the Great Star Lobsterism. However, this latter belief has been dismissed by the country as a whole as pagan nonsense. Despite its prevalence, many believers have difficulty being taken seriously. Religious festivals are commonly viewed as little more than tourist attractions. Truly devout believers are hard to find.

In Inutilia, the most common denomination of Christianity is a form of Anglicanism.

Cuisine
Improving internal transport has introduced both subcultures to a wider range of cuisines, and there is a fair amount of overlap between the two. Cancionan cookery tends to include more spices and fresh vegetables, whereas Inutilians are well known for the quantities of fish and potatoes consumed, but overall they have merged into a diet not dissimilar to that of Italy.

The national dish has remained 'Crab Boiled in Pepsi Max for Two Hours and Served In A Baguette'. The Cancionans insist upon it.

Festival of the Exploding Eardrums
The Festival of the Exploding Eardrums has persisted, and is now widespread throughout the country (although many Inutilian cities have banned it). The festival involves parades of learner musicians, most of whom have never played their instrument in public before, if they've even played it at all. Bystanders will give them money to stop playing, and at the end of the day a panel of judges (most of whom will be so deafened by the event that they can never take this position again) award a small prize- traditionally a china ornament of a small dog, or a novelty tea cosy- to every member of the parade where the most people are all playing roughly the same tune. If said people were playing in the same time as each other, they will also be taken out to dinner for free.

Although the laws stating that all pubs do business for free during the festival has been repealed, many barkeepers ignore this. Those who don't tend to be boycotted by irate citizens for years afterwards.

The evening custom of playing loud music into the night until an annoyed neighbour pays the local constabulary to arrest the musicians has been officially banned. It has been replaced by the Smashing of the Instruments, which tends to be just as loud and drawn-out.

Festival of the Giant Star Lobster
A religious holiday that has since been melded with Easter celebrations. The parade of the papier mache lobster used to be fed seafood, but now audiences 'egg' the model and the priests carrying it. It is stuffed with chocolate, and children are invited to run into the parade and try stuffing their hands into cracks in the paper to retrieve as much of it as they can. The model is burned at midday rather than in the evening, and whole sheep are spit-roasted above the bonfire before being shared around as a communal meal. Church services take place in the evening, usually outside in the courtyard. Devout Star Lobsterists will throw eggs at people participating in these services.

The festival has largely turned into an unofficial competition to see who can take home the greatest amount of free food.

Day of Liberation
A summer holiday that has been held since 303 BC, when the State of Inutilia was granted the same rights as the State of Canciona. Citizens wear national dress, and hang the black-and-red flag out of their windows, the Inutilian Dictator rides through as many large cities as he/she can get to in one day and distributes bottled water (for reasons that are apparently very symbolic, but nobody can fully explain), and a free-to-all fish dinner is held in the docks. There are also usually fireworks.

There is a language enforcement, stating that anyone who tries speaking in a language other than Inutilia's traditional Latin will be goodnaturedly thrown into the sea, and can sit there waiting until a fisherman notices them and pulls them up in a net with a whole lot of seafood. For this reason, tourists try to avoid the state during this holiday.

Festival of Darkness
The Festival of Darkness is the single holiday that dates back the furthest. It takes place during the winter solstice. During it, everyone stays in bed until sundown and then get up for a meal of hot soup. They then turn off all the lights, go out onto the street, and throw rocks at any light source until the area is completely dark. Anyone who leaves a light on in their house can expect to see, upon returning, that someone has broken a window and thrown rocks through it until the offending light source has been extinguished.

Once all the lights are off, everyone sits on the road. Popular activities include sneaking up on people and shouting 'GUESS WHO!' in their ears, and opening up your cafe or restaurant in total darkness and charging people a dollar to put unidentified food items in their mouths. A certain level of trust is both required and abused in this game.

The following day is set aside for cleaning up any damage done the previous night.